Are you a parent? If so, you have the opportunity to change the world for the better or for the worse.
As a parent, you will change the world one way or another, because your children learn from you. And depending on what your child grows up to do, be, or care about will determine the influence he/she will have on the world. But regardless, being a parent offers us the chance to multiply our own impact.
So, how can we be a better parent, and set our children on a course for making the world a better place? Here are 4 actions that you can take today.
1. Positive Attitude
As a parent, we must be super careful in how we talk, how we act, and even how we think. Because our children are watching. By exhibiting a positive attitude throughout the day, our kids are more likely to be and stay positive people. If we are positive even when things don’t go right, we are teaching our child how to react in different situations. This doesn’t mean always having to be happy and believe the world is only butterflies and rainbows.
It’s just a matter of not letting our emotions get the best of us. Our kids need to see that it is okay to be happy, sad, frustrated, even mad, but its how they react to those emotions that makes the difference. If we show anger or throw things when we get frustrated, guess what, our child will do the same. And so, be watchful of your own reactions and more than likely you will benefit as well.
So parents, what you say, do and think does have an effect on your child and it is up to YOU to make sure it’s positive.
2. Build up your child
Does your child know that you love him? That you are proud of him? When’s the last time you stopped what you were doing, just to listen and have a conversation? Our children are looking to us to help them develop confidence and self esteem.
It’s important is give more praises than constantly critiquing them. For instance, if your child comes home with a report card full of A’s and B’s, don’t focus on the C in Math. First, congratulate your child and see what she has to say about her report card. It’s likely that she will bring up the C and any frustrations that go along with it. And if she doesn’t, then offer to look over her homework or help her study.
When we praise a child, they will be quick to repeat those actions. Plus, when we do provide a critique or need for improvement, they will be more inclined to hear us and do something about it. What can you praise your child for today?
2. Teach your child how to give
If you want to raise generous children, who think about those around them, then show them how to give while they are still young. As they grow older, find opportunities to instill this lesson.
For instance, set-up three small jars where she will see them. Label them: Save, Give, and Spend. Then whenever she receives a little cash, whether for chores or birthday, help her decide how to divide it among the jars. At some point, she can then decide how to use her Give money, whether at church, or to buy a friend a gift, or to donate to a cause, etc. This way your child is learning not only how to give, but hopefully also finding joy in it. What other ways can we instill the gift of giving?
3. Love all
Your children are watching you. They see how you react to those around you, or how you communicate to different people. And although it is normal and acceptable to communicate differently with people, we must be careful that we are being loving to all people. So, even when someone frustrates or angers us, we need to consider how to best respond in love.
Also, we have to be careful not to judge or separate certain people. If someone is handicapped and our child sees us avoid them, they will typically copy that habit. But if we treat others as we would want to be treated, then our children will copy that as well.
4. Teach responsibility
As a parent, it is hard not to do everything for our kids. We don’t want them to be discouraged, miss out on something, or make mistakes. But the only way a child will become a successful adult, is if he learns how to deal with discouragement and how to learn from his mistakes. When we let our children make decisions early on, we are right there with them, coaching, and helping them to understand good decision making. If we make all the decisions, then at some point that child is going to disagree or decide to figure it out on their own. And we won’t be able to have the influence or guidance that they need.
I was raised on a farm. So, I learned from an early age what it meant to work hard, to care for livestock, juggle priorities, among other things. These lessons prepared me to think for myself, to put others needs first, and to make good decisions. What responsibility can you give your child today?
Another lesson with responsibility, is admitting when you are wrong or made a mistake. Its so easy as a child (or grownup!) to blame another person or to blame anything but ourselves. To teach this lesson, we must live it ourselves. Be open and share a time when you were wrong or when you made a mistake. That doesn’t make you a bad person, it makes you human. If we can teach our kids to own up to their own mistakes, then they will benefit greatly later in life. They will understand how to learn from those mistakes, how to fix or correct something they did wrong, and just how to get along better with anyone they meet.
These are such great points. The part that hit home for me is the parts about 1) when is the last time you had a conversation with your child, and 2) focusing on the C and forgetting about all those A’s and B’s.
I am guilty of using my phone too much around the kids, or talking on the phone when the kids are nearby. I see how neglectful it can be, and I don’t want to do that anymore. Thanks for the reminder that conversation with the KIDS is most important!
And just tonight, I criticized my 6-year old more for what he came home with from school that was WRONG versus his 100% spelling test from today! YIKES! Needed these reminders!
Serena
It’s hard being a parent, especially with so much going on in life. I think a great way to spend more time with our kids and get work done, is to include them in whatever we are doing, which with some things thats not possible. My little girl is still a toddler so I really struggle with how to have her ‘help’ me, but she loves just being nearby or handing me things. Thanks for the comment.
I agree.
Parents don’t always realize how much they affect their children.
Sometimes I hear what parents are saying to their children and I am shocked.
However, there are also other times when I completely agree with what they had to say.
I guess it isn’t easy being a parent. I guess I will know that in the future.
Parents are the first role models that a child begins to mimic and many parents don’t realize the power of their words and actions. Thanks for the comment!