This is an excerpt from my journal. 
Dated November 14th, My Birthday.
When asked what I wanted for my birthday,
I replied, “A Miracle.”
And this is only the beginning!
“Jesus, thank you for using me and for loving me unconditionally. Help me to have faith in your power especially when put in situations that only your power can succeed in. Please remove doubt and fear and fill me with confidence in you. Amen.”
“God is so good and so faithful. The boys took me “out” to lunch – picked up a sweet potato and then went to a noodle vender for them. Afterwards we were walking back and a man was sitting on the side of a shop begging. His feet were only nubs (sp?) (no toes). I had to stop and felt like this was the opportunity that I have been praying so hard for. Last night I really prayed about being used by God to heal, in my mind I kept picturing an older women with a purple scarf, her hands or fingers were nubs. I could see myself holding her hands, kissing them and praying for healing.
This opportunity, today, looked different, but yet God kept telling me “Have faith, my daughter”. I was shaking and on the verge of tears. The boys were very encouraging and Dan asked about my motives for praying for the man, which of course there is some selfishness in wanting to see the power of God, but also I am desperate for healing/power to be a norm of life (seeing heaven on earth). He also reminded me that this wasn’t my only chance, that there will be plenty of other opportunities to pray healing for people.
But I knew that if I didn’t practice my faith right then, it would be even harder the next time. I can’t describe how difficult it was for me to do such a simple thing, but finally I knelt down, glanced at his face, covered his feet with my hands, and prayed for healing and especially prayed for his heart that he will be glorifying Christ that night. Then I couldn’t even look at him as I walked away in tears. Maybe I didn’t look b/c I wanted to only have faith and no doubt.”
Through this encounter with faith, and stepping out of my comfort zone, I began to sense my Father’s heart for His people. After praying for this Child of God, I heard God telling me, “Have peace, my daughter” and then He, the King of Kings, Lord of ALL creation thanked ME for “practicing,” for reaching out to “the overlooked,” “the unloved.” The more I process through what God has been teaching me this month, the more I see and feel His unconditional love. That is what I am seeking, love that has no boundaries, love that sees only deep within the heart, love that chooses those whom no one else cares about, love that is only possible through the eyes and heart of Jesus Christ. Oh, to have that kind of love! Imagine what this world would look like if each of us had that kind of love. Just think what kind of difference one person could make. Will you be that person?
